How Much Does It Take to Be There for Your Family?

Let’s see what the team has to say about this.

Urdu Adventures

It’s All About the Packaging Now!

Don’t you think it’s about fancy gift bags, wrapping paper, bows and glitter when it comes to packing gifts these days? Well, fathers or men generally still don’t care about how gifts are packed the way we women do. 

I still remember my father coming home with gifts for me. It didn’t have to be a special occasion. It didn’t matter if it was a box of my favourite chocolates, a soft tissue packet because I had a cold, or a perfume (Alien, which still is my favourite perfume). They all came home in a simple blue carrier bag and a big smile.  

I believe it’s sometimes the smallest of things we remember and hold close to our hearts. This is true for the things that make us happy, laugh so loud that our tummy hurts or even cry tears of joy. We remember these things as adults. It is what keeps us going on the difficult days. And when things go wrong and the tears flow, it is these small memories that once warmed our hearts that will inspire us to keep going. 

So I would say find happiness in the small things and enjoy them. We don’t need fancy packaging or well planned holidays to be present or involved, it’s about being present and engaged in whatever you are doing with your children. Don’t overwhelm yourselves or your husbands (as fathers) to meet society’s expectations. You don’t know which little memory your child will keep in their heart forever.

LoveLearningOnline 

Does Your Family Have A Tradition?

On Sunday evenings, I remember we would either go for a family walk or a long drive somewhere. My dad would stop at a shop and get three Snickers bars and three cans of Coke - hehe, you thought this was a story about being healthy, didn’t you?!

Anyway, we would share these glorious seemingly simple snacks between the six of us, so we would have half a can of Coke and half a Snickers bar with our designated partner. (It was always me and my brother, my sisters and my parents.) We did it so often it became a ritual, a routine, and we came to enjoy those evenings so that they became one of my fondest memories.

So, my Top Tip for everyone is to have a weekly tradition that you can enjoy with your family. Even now, if we get Snickers in our weekly shop, it takes me back to a place of happiness in my mind. Working on your mental health is just as, if not more important, as your physical health. It is our job, as parents, to create fond memories for our children so they have a bank of joy and goodness to draw upon when the going gets tough. Half a soda can and half a chocolate bar doesn't seem like a big investment does it? InshaAllah, we’ll see big returns in the future!

MyMoon Online

Hard Worker, Teacher or Best Friend?

My father was “The Hard Worker”. He is not Muslim YET (may Allah guide him), but he was (and still is!) an amazing father. He worked day and night and restored a big house over the years to make it comfortable for his family. Alhamdou li Allah, he’s always there for me when I need him.

When I got married and had kids, I expected the same thing from my husband as a father to our children until I realised they are not the same. My husband is caring - he loves to be at home, and he enjoys sitting and playing with the kids, which is amazing. But can you imagine, it was sometimes difficult for me to see him like this? Deep down in my heart I expected him to work more and bring in more money - because that was what I was used to.

However, Allah made me realise that everyone is different, and everyone has different things to give. Some dads may give their knowledge and teach their children. Others may have adventures with them and take them out. Whatever they are good at, as a father you should realise it and increase in it. As a mom, you should see and appreciate it.

IrambintSafia 

Read! But Wisely.

I help parents understand their journey, and my go-to solutions are books. I don’t mind listening to podcasts and watching YouTube either, as I find them super helpful especially when I’m busy with another task. (Of course, I also make them myself!) However, I stand by the fact that anything beneficial I know and learn from comes from books.

Let me suggest a few books that I think might be helpful if you are looking into better parenting skills. You might find them on Amazon, buy them on Kindle, or the best option is your local library. Let’s start with the following three titles which, truth be told, I found life-changing. 🙂

1. 
The Whole-Brain Child 
by Daniel J. Siegel (Author) and Tina Payne Bryson (Author)

2. 
Unconditional Parenting
Book by Alfie Kohn

3. 
Playful Parenting:
An Exciting New Approach to Raising Children That Will Help You Nurture Close Connections, Solve Behaviour Problems, and Encourage Confidence. 
Book by Lawrence J. Cohen.